Potty Training Part I

Note: this post is long and extremely detailed for my own journaling purposes. I also use a lot of potty words, so skip over this post if you aren't interested in potty training!

For about two + months now, Ellery has been telling me either before or after she goes number 2. She knows how to say "poo," she points and tugs on her diaper. She knows they are supposed to go in the potty (I've been explaining this to her every time I go since before she could crawl, so that it would be easier for her to understand when the time came). She can put underwear on and almost pull it all the way up all by herself (she's been doing this all on her own with her diaper covers for a while now). She loves to flush the toilet, and is very interested in it. Etc. etc. Sounds about ready to potty train, right?!

So a few weeks ago I did all this research online and because all of the different methods seemed to conflict, I decided to just come up with my own plan. Fail. This meant three days of almost pure accidents all over our apartment. She didn't get it. I was doing it all wrong. For the three days I kept asking her, "Do you have to go poo poos?" "Do you need to go potty?!" The first five times I asked her she simply said, "No." and the rest of the three days she just ignored me…even when she did have to go. So that didn't work. Plus I had a lot going on at the time, so I'd have her almost naked "potty training" her for an hour or two, then I'd put a diaper on her and go out for an hour or two, then back at home potty training again, then out again, etc. Confusing for the poor child. Anyway, luckily by the third day, I talked to a friend who had recently had success potty training her son. She told me all about it. She used StartPottyTraining.com, and convinced me that it was awesome. So, I signed up for it. It cost like $37, but it's money back guarantee if it doesn't work, and they have a super high success rate. It came with an online book, videos, and more. I read the entire book that night and got really excited about it.

SO! Potty training attempt number two!:

According to this site, you get best results when you lock yourself in your home for three days and don't go anywhere (with the exception of a very short, convenient outing on the third day) or do anything other than play with and watch your child. You aren't supposed to look away from them for three days. The point is to catch them every single time they go before (preferably) or at least while they are going. And race them to the potty every time, and that way it clicks, "Oh! Every time I pee or poo I go to the potty. I guess I should go to the potty when I have to pee or poo!" Before, with my made up potty training plan, because I wasn't intently watching Ellery every minute of the day, most of her accidents were when I wasn't looking, and therefore, she wouldn't make the connection to the potty. Makes sense, right? Also, my previous method obviously annoyed her to the point of ignoring me when I would ask her if she had to go, and this new method says, "Don't ask them if they need to go! Simply remind them often to let you know if they need to go potty." That way it gives them the responsibility and doesn't bug them! Ellery DID respond much better to this. Also, like I tried to do before, this new method is all about being 100% positive. No negative words. They compared it to if they were learning how to walk. If they fall down, you don't say, "Bad!" you say, "oh that's okay! Next time you'll get it!" so do the same thing with potty training. I was trying to stay positive before, but this analogy made it easier for me.

Anyway, here's how each day has gone so far (just ended the third day today):

First day:

-1 pee accident (I caught her in the corner of the room, looking like she was about to go, but before I could grab her she started. So I grabbed her and ran to the potty, but she was all done by the time we got there).

-Another pee accident.

-Little bit of poo in her underwear, caught her, ran to the toilet, she finished ON the toilet (this counts as success and she gets potty candy any time she goes at all on the potty). Then she peed on the potty! (She had peed on the potty before, but this was her first time going number two, so this was huge, especially for our first real day of potty training!!)

-Pee in underwear, ran to potty and finished in potty

-Pee in underwear, ran to potty but too late

-Pee in underwear, ran to potty but too late

Second day:

-Pee in underwear, ran to potty but too late

-Poo in underwear, ran to potty but too late

-Pee in underwear, ran to potty but too late

-Pee in underwear, didn't catch her at all

-Pee on potty (I already had her there, just sitting and waiting till it came because I knew she was due to go again soon)!

-Pee in underwear, didn't catch her at all

-Pee on potty (this one was huge! We were playing and she just randomly stopped and went to the potty. So I helped her up and she went pee right away)

-Pee in underwear, didn't catch her at all

Third day:

-Pee on potty (I already had her there, just sitting and waiting till it came)

-Pee in underwear, ran to potty but too late

-Pee in underwear (in her defense, she was in her high chair eating at the time…)

-She woke up from her nap and was sort of talking/whining in her crib for a few minutes before I went in to get her. When I went in, she had a little poop in her diaper (which she never does after a nap…weird). Normally she wants me to hold her after her nap, but she immediately wanted down. She ran to the potty, so I put her on and she finished going number two! Who knows, maybe if I had gone in to get her right away she would have done it all on the potty.

-Pee in underwear, ran to potty but too late

-Pee in underwear, didn't catch her at all (we were outside on our little mini outting that we were allowed)

-Pee on potty (I noticed her sort of doing a potty dance, so I quickly put her on the potty and she went!)

Then around 6:30pm she found a clean diaper and laid down on it, so I decided we could be done potty training for the day and put a diaper on.

P.S. I'm only potty training her for awake time. Not naps or night yet. She is still in a crib, and I think way too young to hold it all night.

Oh, a couple other things about this new potty training method.

1) It encourages reward systems (hence the potty candy every time she actually goes while on the potty)

2) It claims the best time to potty train is between 18-24 months (depending on your child. They do need to be showing certain signs of readiness as well (which Ellery is both of those)).

3) It claims to work in three days (plus-depending on your child).

My thoughts after three days:

Ellery is ready and not ready at the same time. She is too young to FULLY grasp the reward system. She is also POSSIBLY too young to hold her bladder for very long (today is the first time I've even seen her hold it at all. Normally she just let's go whenever. Holding it is something your body has to learn. So far she hasn't been, but hey, maybe she'll get the hang of it soon?!). She is also too young to say "Potty" or "Pee." She attempts to repeat the words back to me when I ask her to, but they don't sound anything like the real words. She does say, "poo" though. She is too young to go by herself. But this is normal. She IS old enough though, in a lot of senses (all the signs I described before). Also, she is becoming more aware of pee. Yesterday she started making faces while she pees like, "Hey! I'm peeing!" so that's good. And she now gets that it's supposed to go in the potty.

Basically, I think she could easily potty train for number 2 right now. She just needs to get the hang of holding her bladder long enough to get to the potty, and she needs a better way of letting me know she has to go number 1.

Oh and I think the whole "potty training in three days" thing is a little unrealistic unless your child is older than their recommended 18-24 month age. Yes, I do agree that it's a good age for some children (possibly including Ellery), but three days?! Really?! I do think they can start to grasp it in three days, but it's a little unrealistic to have a 20 month old fully potty trained that fast (I think).

I'm going to give it a few more days, and if it's still mostly accidents, and no more improvement, I'll hold off for another six months maybe (or at least for number 1). Potty training is exhausting, and not fun! Yes, I love spending undivided attention with my sweet girl, but regardless, it's a lot of effort and messy and potentially frustrating (although the trying really hard to stay positive for her totally helps). It's also boring ; ) I'm so used to running errands, making dinner, cleaning, and spending time with friends and babysitting that just sitting at home with just Ellery makes for a long day. For both of us.

Anyway, wish me luck the next few days, and I'll post the progress again soon.